Every man, at one point in his life, comes face-to-face with his own mortality, seeing very vividly both his future and his past. It’s a crossroads; a time of reflection, a time to take personal inventory. It usually comes when the kids have all moved out of the nest–off to college; and after years in the same job with little advancement. Every man deals with this stage of life differently. Some get a new tattoo, some an earring, or a young trophy girlfriend; and some…some buy wicked used cars. We are of course speaking of the Midlife crisis and today we are going to give you men-in-crises some ideas on the best cars for your identity troubles. Read below the jump to get some great suggestions on some bitchin’ cars that will make you proud and pleased to be middle-aged!
That Porche Looks Good On You
Perhaps, at least to me, the most iconic midlife crisis car is the Porche Boxster. It’s small, impractical design (no carseats in this ride!) fits the “holy crap I’m 40!” mold perfectly. Just think—how many times do you see a smooth, cherry red Porche pull up next to you at a stoplight and see a middle-aged man at the wheel. You may crack a joke, but what you are really thinking is, “Dang, I want that car.” It’s fast, it’s loud, and it turns heads. What more could you want from a midlife crisis ride?
Try This Honda On For Size
If you are looking for a sporty, nice looking car but don’t want to go with something as “cliché” as the Porche, then why not check out a used Honda S2000? A famously powerful engine and sleek design, the Honda S2000 will make people question all they thought they knew about Hondas. This is one midlife crisis car that you can get in any color too (as opposed to the standard, gotta-go-for-it red). It makes the Honda Civic and Accord look like kiddy cars.
Sometimes, Bigger Really is Better
If you are looking for something a little less “froo-froo”, you can’t really go wrong with the Hummer H3. These beasts aren’t just for guys who are overcompensating. Of course, with raising gas prices, this isn’t the most rational decision. But if your midlife crisis is about rationality, you might as well stay home, wear clip on earrings and get a press-on tattoo. And the best part about the Hummer H3 is that you can park wherever you want…because who can stop you!?
Drastic Times Call for Drastic Measures
For those of you high rolling 40-somethings, I think it is about time you buy a little treat for yourself: the Ferrari F430. This bad boy (which you absolutely must get in red) tops out at 200mph, though you’ll never really need to ever go that fast, for any reason. Ever. The definition of excess, the Ferrari is a space ship on wheels. Your wife won’t disapprove any more—and THAT’S what this is all about. Once you drop a few hundred grand on this machine, all you’ll need to do is get some sunglasses and a scarf.
Blast from the Past
The whole point of having a midlife crisis is to feel young again, to be energized and spirited and virile, despite the arbitrary number that represents your age. And what better way to feel young than to drive what you drove when you were young. The classic Chevrolet Corvette is the iconic 60s car that will have you rocking out to the Beatles like it’s your first time hearing them. Sure the ‘Vette design is all for show and not exactly about performance or practicality, but neither was quitting your job!
Two Wheels Instead of Four
If a car just isn’t the ridiculously impractical purchase you dreamt it would be, why not spring for a used motorcycle? Not only will you be saving money, but also you won’t leave any doubts in your friends and family’s minds about your midlife crisis. At your age and pay grade there is absolutely no reason to buy a motorcycle except the pure thrill of it—and THAT’S what it’s all about.
Tell us, what do you think are the best midlife crisis cars? Or what did you buy yourself when the time came a’knockin’?